Our son, River Hayes, was born on 11/10 at 5:23 am.

On the evening of the 8th, I experienced some spotting, which was understandably worrying given a previous miscarriage associated with similar symptoms. I contacted the birthing suite and was advised to come in for assessment. A vaginal and speculum examination were performed. I was very anxious about this due to an existing fear related to having previous colposcopies. Gas was offered, though it was not particularly effective at that time. The bleeding was identified as old blood, likely related to scaring on my cervix from a previous procedure. I was discharged home and asked to return the following morning for further another assessment. The midwives and medical staff were wonderful. My doctor, Aimee, provided excellent care.

When I returned the next morning, I brought my hospital bags and left them in the car. There were some concerns with the monitoring, and induction was recommended. I felt comfortable with this plan, it seemed the safest option for baby.  Leigh collected my bags from the car. To get my cervix ready for labour, they used the less invasive, cervical ripening balloon. This time the gas was effective and, with encouragement from both the doctor and midwife, I managed the procedure despite not liking the vaginal examinations particularly difficult due to low pain tolerance and anxiety.

The afternoon progressed. Leigh felt unprepared when he realised he’d left some things at home, so he went home for them. The night shift midwife offered me Panadeine Forte and a sleeping tablet to help manage discomfort overnight as the balloon was slowly preparing my cervix to be open enough for rupture of membranes at 6 am. After confirming the medication was safe, I accepted it.

Around midnight, as I was drifting off to sleep, my waters broke. Leigh came back to the hospital. I had another examination and was started on the syntocinon drip. My memory is a little unclear, but at around 2–4 cm dilated I chose to have an epidural. I discussed with the doctor that having it earlier would likely help me relax, as I was feeling very nervous and anxious about pain. In hindsight, I am happy with this decision.

The epidural itself was confronting, and I felt quite disoriented afterwards. I could not feel the contractions, but River (my baby) was responding to them, with dropping his heart rate during contractions. I was also having antibiotics for GBS. Given River’s response to the epidural I had for labour, the decision was made to proceed with an caesarean birth.

I felt frightened on the way to theatre, particularly worried that I might feel the surgery. I became tearful, and Leigh was understandably emotional as well. A theatre staff member held my hand, and I found the entire team very comforting and reassuring. Throughout labour and procedures, I sought a lot of reassurance from the medical staff and found comfort in their presence. Leigh remained close by, stepping out during procedures when needed, but his support in the background was invaluable.

River was born at 5:23 am, and Leigh held him skin-to-skin while the surgery was being completed. In the recovery area, I was able to have my baby, River, skin-to-skin, he started feeding soon after I held him on my chest.

Leigh was an incredible support during my recovery from surgery. Staying in hospital for three days felt intense. The first week at home was particularly challenging.  I felt anxious and overwhelmed bringing River home. I found myself frequently checking his breathing and colour. By two weeks postpartum, I began to feel more settled, relaxed, and confident.

Feeding has been a challenge. River breastfed for the first 10 days but was not gaining enough weight. I saw a lactation consultant, who identified difficulties with baby attaching at the breast. This was another source of stress for me, as breastfeeding was something I strongly wanted to do. We tried expressing every three hours for 24 hours. I found this exhausting and left me feeling like I had little time to simply be with River. After discussion with the lactation consultant, I made the decision swap to formula feeding. And just expressing twice a day.

River is now  2 ½ weeks old and has reached his birth weight and is now thriving. He is beautiful, and we have found our rhythm as a family of three. He is a very special little boy.